the guy should be

>the way a boyfriend should be for luvxie but not for leah<

a. boyfriend dont have to luv me with all his heart..
    i want him to love himself more than he luvz me..coz if he luvz himself more than he does to me..it means a lot coz if i am his life and he luvs his life it do implies that he luvs me too.

b. a boyfriend for m, dont need to be perfect..as long as he is himself its enaf..

c. a boyfriend could not be and should not be possessive.
   i hate possessive guys!it makes me fel like a prisoner of all time..

d.a boyfriend should be understanding
   kxe am so gaga..!he should be understanding enough to stand beside me thru my crazy days doin' crazy stuff..

e.a boyfriend should be <at least> unique..

f.a boyfriend should be crazy enough like me.
  he should do things i.e not likely a boyfriend should do.

g.a boyfriend should be strong enough to face my tiger mother..
    should have a very skeptic attitude to talk to my dear father..

h.should have a religous mind thnking..
   to stay up during a chit chat with friend <in gud side..heheh with leah>

i.should know how to dance.
    to grove with my friends <HYKSOS>

j.should be kalog enaf to talk to my gud friends in msu..

k. should be sum1 he can...and not because i want him to..

<>sadly..havnt seen one..
<>hoping that i can..
<>that he's just a step away

lovers in facebook

this picture is supposedly be given on his birthday...

i know he likes cartoon's so i make him one.but ....you know already what happened..

and it hurts for the third time around..

social networking is very common nowadays. it's next to impossible when sum1 don't have FB's account among and in between teenagers and adults (shall i say all the people in the whole wide world). facebook completes my day. if the maharlika riders in Sydney rides their bikes ( i am talking of big bikes here) completes their week, net surfing and chatting with friends in facbook rocks my world unlimitedly.

i've located old friends, comaj and cotejmates, classmates and batchmates thru this social networking site 'Facebook'. i earn and meet new friends as well. locating old mates ain;t that esay at all esp for me that i have this mem'ry gap (short and long term mem'ry gap) i often forget things in a time i wanted them to work and rem'ber them the moment i am in solitary *( and in no time for surfing the net).

mem'ry for a oerson like me lays an imprtant role. they made my day(s) work properly. i sometimes sat down is silence thinking  of something i should have done, thinking things i should be thinking or doing things i should be doing,..,just to end up sitting the whole day long thinking of nothing but what to think i should think..
facebook ?well, facebook got every inch of detail of what am thinking to think and doin what i am thinking..\\\\\\

FACEBOOK.. is the very best way to know a person like me.. Fb itself is as updated as my phone to my life..
if i cry,, FB cries with me
laugh when im happy
mourn when i loss something and broke when am broke..
FB is something i just can't live without...
it shares things i like top share and be shared with..
it likes things i wanna like..
i become updated to my friends thru FB accounts..
i even fall inlove to someone thru facebook..
my friends often refer to it as ' LOVERS IN FACEBOOK.
coz i loved sum1 in FB..

he know who the hell he is..acquaintances know who he is..we USED to be friends in FB..yeah you read it ryt..we USED TO BE friends,, coz the first broke up he removed me as his friend(i was planning to removed him as my friend but a friend of mine said not to do so, coz it is a ground - as if am guilty), so i did not, but he already did..
(SO WHO DO YOU THINK IS GUILTY OF SOMETHING?)

anyway, some friends also noticed that we're not friends anymore and that all my post sounds like (they said) am broken (though i really am not..it sounds like, but am not)..
all the comments he used to dropped top my accounts seems to vanished in thin air (CHAR- the truth)..
every time i open my FB i seem to missed all those fights we have in every messages he sent and all the jealousy in every postings he make..
a very close friend of mine reacted to my postings just after the first break up. he said 'SI KUPIDO NGA NA MAN''' i didn't actually mind what i posted, i just posted what i really feel and have had nothing in mind who will read it and how they would react to it.... another friend  commented 'IS THAT UR BF #2 LUVXIE? WHO AMONG THOSE NUMBER 2?" this comment got my attention while am about to post something new botu what i feel that time....
i responded without anything into mind who else would come to my page and read it
"#2?WELL, GUESS WHO" c
coz he knows a lot bout me (more than anyone else do), he knows all my number 2's and who really is number 2..

this liver of mine is one of thy few i USED TO LOVE. (remember i USED to) he may not noticed and feel  that i loved him (my very close friend could tell you how much i did loved him,,he could tell that am no expressive kinda person)..
people may call me a scumbag like person (halfly yeah i am)...no matter what have happened that friend of mine can tell honestly anyone who would asked that i loved this man...but he's nothing like the other whom i already meet and expect to bu just my number 2...
as am typing now, i feel this unexplainable thing i am feeling..
 i intend to write all am feeling, but i just can't. something behind me wanted to keep secret's as they were <as it is>

but again i just wanted him to know one thing...

TRUST COULD NOT BE PLAY BY ANYONE.. NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY BUY TRUST LIKE A COTTON CANDY IN THE STREET...

TRUST is something to be earned in any means, some people would die just to keep it.).

loving someone is trusting him/her, if you love someone you should trust him/her with all your soul and mind..
LOVE? as i define is "LIFE" ..when you live your life you're secretly lloving someone as well. as my prof. in AS 130 said that loving someone is like loving your own..
\
another matter about this love is that it is a game anyone is playing..
for people in the twentieth century, love is a game anyone should play.playing makes you strong.
i always love people around me, i give them importance, i owe them the person i am now.
some people even take that thing into their advantaged against me..
 i love people and people play me..
as time passed,..as i loved i learned to [play the game everyone is playing...

luvly lieyah:confession Part I

 LOVE HURTS:

i can't think of a single word to describe the feeling i used to feel the first time i give my fuckin heart to sum1, just to end up in great pain..
i maybe not as expressive as the general population of the gurls are, i am the kind of person who  hides what i feel even if it kills me. but htough i am no expressive type as them , i also get hurt and the pain i felt strucked  me in my heart as if someone strike a vampire with a bamboo stick on the heart. as the readers digest once posted " a person's hearty become weaker the time it acts opposing what it really feels: for me? i only get stronger  everytime i opposingly act to what i felt...physic'ly and emotion'ly stronger than before..

i got hurt the first tym i loved ( i always and always be), i thought that would be the best way that tym, but i was wrong/..

OBSERVATION:

SOME people say that i am or i have a heart as hard as the stone for not granting what i and he felt ( i was afraid that tym- that i could hurt someone's feeling and hurt her)..people always say that straight to my very face, coz they may have felt the lkove that guy have offered and given to me, but just take that for granted (but i really did not- coz every night in my sleep, i am being huinted by my conscience, by my love for him). he's just a friend..a friend..
( a friend i should not love- for i would be just hurtin someone's feeling if i do so and i won't let that happen..i coul;d not take that someone is in hurt because of me)

i tried not to show what i really felt even if it hurts. i laughed and smile though am breakin deep with in. this is my way of defending myself against any possib;le pain ands avoiding the tears to fall from myt eyes ( it will just cause eye bags - cjhaks)
defense mechani8sm as it seem but am just really tryin not to be hurt agaian..just gurading myself., guarding my heart6 not to be hurt again and agian..by nonsense..
i just knopw thatr i should not let myself be hurt again..


that tym i know and i can feel that he really loves me, but time is against what we wabted, odds are getting obvious, love is not the sople solution  and answer to the happenings that tym..
i want to visibly loved himk..i want him to feel that i love him, but again i just cant do things the way i wanted them to happen..,
so, i push myself harder tpo thinggs that could posssibly make me busy, so that i could forget him, i could forget the love,,  forget that i love him..

our family may know each other but not the real shot between the two of us...
i love the gurl,, i do love her and i dont want her to get hurt.. everytym  he could possibl;y get the chance of tralking to me and get closer to me, i personal;ly killed the very possibility.he tried every way he could bu8t iotwas me who pushed me away from me . push him to marry her...
years have passed the feeling wasd still der, everytm he get5s closer i can fell the electricity running thru my very veins esp when he holds my hands..but my decision is final " i wont hurt someone just to be happy"

years have passed and i heard form a friuend that he already proposed to the gurl i was trying not to hurt for a long tym already, when  i heard bout that i beame anxious, i have cursed his name. my hearts beats twice than its normal beatit made mme cry again, but as i fell the heat running thru my eyes i realized that it wasn't her npor his fault. it was mine.because i was the one who tried to be away from him...
calming myself was the best way that ty,m. coz i cant do a single thing to change w2hat have just happened and i wont change it either.....smile surfaces my very face when i real;ized that i shpould be happy npot just for them but also for myself for i haven't done anything rude and havent hurt someone except me myself is in great pain and deep misery...

REVELATION:

as stated he was my first love and i did really loved him,.second i am happy for what i have did/done/..
third and the most important thing is that i know that i am no hurt by other people but my self have had hurt me,,,
i teach and let myself be hurt by me, (though for some ridiculous and good reason)..i have let myself be hurt, but it was the people who sorrounds me who used that to their advantaged for their ruthless plan- ruining someones life (CHARS)

LOVING INDEED IS TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY , EVEN TO THE EXTENT OF YPUR OWN LOSS..

LOVE IS A GAME ANYONE SHOULD BE AWARE OF...